


Toilet Gremlins

by cybergirl614



Series: Saving People, Texting Things [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bickering, Crack, Dean is a Little Shit, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Implied Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Sam Is So Done, Sick Sam Winchester, Teasing, Texting, complete and total crack, weirdest case ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:45:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4443926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybergirl614/pseuds/cybergirl614
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is taking awhile due to, ahem, *problems*, much to Dean's irritation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toilet Gremlins

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't ask me why. I won't have a good answer besides I've always thought Dean's immature humor was wacky, and I loved Sam's horrible luck with the rabbit's foot episode, so...this is another time poor Sam has awful luck. Potential squick and bad jokes abound. :P You've been warned.

1:45 PM

Dean: When are you coming back out? I’m ready to go. Do you and salad not get along anymore? 

Sam: Dude. Leave me alone. I’ll be done when I’m done!

Dean: Chill. I’m just starting to wonder if there’s toilet gremlins or something.

Sam: Yeah, toilet gremlins alright. 

2:30 PM

Dean: Really are there toilet gremlins? Sam? I swear you better not be making out with Gabriel in there. If you are just holding us up like this, I’m gonna kick your ass. We need to get going.

Sam: I’m hurrying!

Dean: You mean to say you've been in there for 45 minutes just sitting on the can? Dude, what the hell did you eat?!

Sam: Nothing out of the ordinary.

Dean: What? Your sure something’s not up?

Sam: No. I haven’t eaten anything questionable, unlike you. You should be the one in here stuck to the can, YOU’RE the one who eats god knows what chili at all those nasty gas stations. 

Dean: What can I say, Sammy? I have a stomach of steel, and chili’s an amazing food group.

Sam: Shut up.

Dean: Hurry up.

Sam: Do you really try to be this annoying?

Dean: What can I say? It’s a natural talent.

Sam: For god’s sake what will it take to make you let me crap in peace???

3:30 PM

Dean: This is the SECOND time in an hour we’ve had to stop for you. What gives, man? 

Sam: I don’t know. If I knew I’d do something about it. 

 

Dean: Fair enough. What do you need, some Gatorade or something? You gotta be getting dehydrated. 

Sam: Yeah, if you can grab some Gatorade in the store that’d be great. I’ll…just be out here… 

 

4:00 PM 

Dean: You alive in there, bro? I’m starting to get worried. 

Sam: At this point, I kinda wish I wasn’t, but yeah. It’s like there’s some sorta freaking curse on me.

4:30 PM 

Dean: Hey, Sammy? You’re not gonna believe this, but I think the outhouse you took a crap in the other day at the historical place might have had a curse on it. 

Sam: You’re kidding!

Dean: Nope. 

Sam: So what do you have to do to get rid of this?!

Dean: Got your wallet on ya?

Sam: Yeah, why???

Dean: If this curse is what I think it is, it’s not gonna let up until you’re dead. And the cursed object is in Montana. 

Sam: Well, that’s very reassuring. 

Sam: Wait, can’t you get Cas to take you?

Dean: Nope. He’s away on angel business of some sort. It was an outhouse in the time of cholera. Apparently a witch cursed it when her entire family died of the disease, and anyone that uses it, well….it’s not lookin good. I need to go torch the place, pronto.

Sam: Great. Go fix the shits curse so I don’t shit myself to death. 

Dean: Alright, I’m gonna be gone awhile.

Sam: I don’t care! Go fix this!

Dean: Alright, talk to ya later.

6:15 PM

Sam: I got a ride to the local motel. I'm good. Salt 'n' burn that crapper to smithereens.

Dean: Will do. I'm enroute.

Sam: The sooner the better.

 

12:50 AM

Dean: Alright Sammy, I’ve got her burning!

Sam: Thank god…


End file.
